Lab fitness

This article was originally written for the Cambio Ltd. blogging competition (which I won!!). You can access it here.

In the first few months of my PhD I was convinced the stupid police were going to come and get me. I was half expecting someone to arrive and the lab and say “Excuse me Miss, but we’ve rumbled you. Collect your things and be on your way”. But as the months went by I began to realise that this wasn’t going to happen, as my (five) supervisors and funding body weren’t going to let me escape that easily. I also began to realise that smart isn’t even half the story when it comes to a PhD. 

As I got into my stride in the lab I remember one supervisor remarking on ‘lab fitness’ - how it can take a while to get used to the long hours and manifold samples required for anything approaching reliable results. At the time I chuckled and thought “I’ve done research projects for my BSc and MSc, and a year working for a research institution – I know all about long hours in the lab”. Needless to say this was naïve. 

Granted much of the work was as I’d experienced before, but no-one had prepared me for the subtle differences that PhD research entails. The self-motivation, the lack of direction, the crippling self-doubt… The biggest surprise for me though, was that my entire working life became split between what I call “Stupid Time” and “Clever Time”, when I’m quite convinced that sanity lies somewhere in the middle.

Stupid Time for me is carrying out the repetitive, monotonous tasks required to get sufficient replicates for my experiments to mean anything. A standard Monday goes thus: empty (~10 cm high) plant from tube and remove growth media. Clear up mess. Measure plant’s height, rooting depth, number of root nodules (yes, I work with legumes!) and weight. Pour agar plates. Remove a 1 mm root nodule, sterilise it in ethanol, squash it and plate this out on agar. Prep everything else for freezing. Repeat 48 times. The process takes an entire day, by the end of which I can barely spell my own name. It reminds me of factory work, though that may be more intellectually challenging. It also probably pays better.

On the other hand Clever Time involves sitting at my desk wading through piles of scientific papers trying to discern the salient info and make sure what I’m doing is new, or getting my head around new scientific concepts, or trying to work out a way to conduct an experiment that no one seems to have done before (or have they, and I just haven’t found the paper yet?!). The effect on me at the end of the day is similar.

It’s taken me 18 months to realise that tenacity, a Kevlar work ethic, an ability to make decisions and sheer bloody-mindedness seem to be the qualities required if I want to finish my PhD on time. Perhaps the stupid police should come get me for not realising sooner…