I've just returned from a GRADschool course in Windermere run by Vitae (and paid for by SGM - THANK YOU!!) which I was warned might change my life, and has indeed done so.
Aside from boosting my confidence no end and giving me some very firm nudges in the right direction career-wise, it has reaffirmed my desire to live a life that I find fulfilling, nourishing and challenging. It also highlighted to me that I am a very people-oriented person. I just love caring for and bringing the best out of people, getting to know them, supervising projects so that everyone does their bit (it turns out I'm a Belbin co-ordinator) and making sure everyone knows how vital they were in getting stuff done.
So whilst evaluating my time there, one thread that stood out was my pain at not keeping in touch with my friends better. Every time I miss a birthday or a marriage or a birth I cringe. How do I not know my friend's addresses, mobile numbers... birthdays?!
Unfortunately a large part of the answer lies in Facebook.
It has become my crutch. Where I once had an address book I now just send people messages online. I decided this won't do, so tonight I culled about 100 people off my friend list. I began with people I haven't spoken to in the last year - which was a surprising number; most of these I haven't really spoken to since I joined Facebook back in 2006. Once the ball was rolling, it was easier to remove people who I am awkwardly friends with through other friends, people I went to school with, and people who generally just make me feel shite about myself. Now I'm down to 146 friends, which still seems an awful lot.
Since I became friends with my mum, my aunties and my vicar, I have to say I've been putting a lot less stuff on my page (!), but the weird thing is that online etiquette has changed in recent years, and I've become accepting of some seriously detrimental things. Since when was it ok for people I barely know to write upsetting things in my personal space? Since when do I need to share my personal details with people I haven't really spoken to in 15 years, or with friends of friends? It's bizarre, and I can understand how Facebook has been found to have profound mental implications. I know far more intimate details about certain conference contacts than I do of some of my work colleagues.
So I've chopped my social sphere down to people I like and want to stay in touch with, which surely is what Facebook should be for. Who knows, I may yet give it all up completely... but for now I'm happy to have a bit more control over who can see my personal stuff, and begin making a proper address book.
The effects of social media on our culture as well as our psychology are all the more profound for how little attention has been given to them with the dramatic changes that have taken place in such a short time. This is both an academic interest for me and more personal because I am seriously very addicted to social media. This is much worse in the second half of that time since 2006 because everyone is now constantly 'plugged-in' via their phones.
ReplyDeleteAh... but yes, I began commenting to say that you should have shared your blog on Facebook. So easily distracted...